The Perks of Being a Writer
I hear it all the time. “You’re a writer?” As if it’s contagious or hard to believe. “Yes,” I say… Most people don’t know what to say after that. But hey, who cares? There are some obvious perks to being a writer. You call the shots; you don’t answer to anyone but yourself; and you can write in your underwear/PJ’s/bathing suit/ those sweat pants you’ve owned since high school, etc. Nobody care’s what you wear when you are typing away. The only one that may care is your furry feline friend.
As a writer you can live anywhere you want. Like really, anywhere (as long as there’s an internet connection).
Good luck inviting anyone over for a hot cup o’ tea.
You can pick up a new hobby…like becoming nocturnal! Oh what a joy it is to be awake when everyone else is asleep. You get to watch the moon instead of the sun. You hear different animal noises. You get the joys of watching late night infomercials (now that’s what I call fun!). Sometimes my best ideas comes in the middle of the night when I jolt out of my sleep in a eureka-like moment. Energized I turn on the light and grab my laptop. I think about how this is the best idea ever! My husband-well-he may see things differently. I realize he’s in the bed next to me when he groans and throws his hands over his eyes. LOL!
When you are a writer, you can have multiple personality issues…and not have to take medication! Think about it. You can let your mind take off and have a conversation all on its own. You just take notes as you go along and before you know it… BAM! you have dialogue for your book! *insert running man dance here*
Ever not like the name you got stuck with? Yes, I’m talking to you Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop (yes, it’s real). Or you, Oliver Loser (yep, another real one). Or do you have a plain name, Jane Smith (my mother’s maiden name)? Well never fret! Here in the writing community we have options. One of those is to create a pen name. Let your imagination run wild and come up with something fun. *Future pen name up for grabs: River Waters!
Still single? Never fret. When you become a writer you will never be without a ‘special friend’. Date night every night; candlelight dinner for two, long walks on the beach…yeah, I bet I sparked your interest chain! So, you want a man who’s tall dark and handsome, green eyes, strong chin and a French accent? Done. How can you snag him? Easy, you write him down. If you use enough vivid imagry he WILL come to life. Get tired of him? Delete…. No weird phone calls either.
Do you ever get so cotton picking mad and have no outlet to unleash your fury with? Well, here’s the ultimate release other than screaming in the pillow. Kill off someone. Yes, you heard me right. You take your pen and paper and unleash your fury on that horrible, no good, dirt bag in your book. Kill that bad guy off real good. Very therapeutic and you don’t have to complete any jail time!
So by now you’re probably on the edge of your seat wanting to become a full time writer…but all you say is:
Don’t be a pansy! Writing is fun, it’s rewarding, it’s so stinking fun you’ll get addicted to it! AND, you can get paid! Let me break it down for you. We’re running a contest right now with prizes ranging from $25-$100 and one of the contests consists of 100 words. Now my grandma could do that in her sleep. What’s your excuse? Making kitten mittens? Never mind, I don’t need to hear it.